Today I just wanted to share something a friend shared with me recently. We were having tea and talking about family and friends and the usual stuff girls chat about.
And then we started talking about our church.
We go to a wonderful church with a diversity of ages, interests, jobs, and passions. There are some very cool things happening in our church. But there are also some not cool things happening in our church. We didn't get into specifics with each other at all, but one point she made really stuck with me and I was very proud of her for being in a place in her life where she could think and say this.
She said, basically, that there's no point in complaining or wishing things were different if you weren't willing to get in there and help. There are always going to be things about any church we're a part of that we wish were different. But the turning point comes when we decide to roll up our sleeves, be thankful for what we DO have and work toward a better future for our church and community.
Like I said, I was really proud of her. She didn't sweep things under the rug. And I didn't pretend, "like a good pastor's wife" that nothing was going on. But neither did I sit there and gripe about so-and-so doing this-and-that (which some of my fellow PWs have been known to do).
We acknowledged that there are some issues and problems, but then went on to encourage each other pointing out how we had seen the other taking steps forward in love and showing a willingness to be involved and serve in the power of the Holy Spirit.
It was very uplifting and I hope I can have more conversations like that. And even if the other person isn't totally on board with it, I can still be encouraging in what I say and how I say it. It has really challenged me and I'm glad to have experienced it.
2 comments:
So true! Glad you were able to uplift your friend Katie in this positive attitude! ? I would be interested to know what you or others suggest in dealing with people who do not have the attitude of your friend. I have a situation of someone in my life who is critical of many things going on in our spiritual community - yet is one of the most generous, giving people I've ever met. I'm the world's worst at confrontation. Any suggestions?
Dear Anonymous Friend,
Thanks for your encouragement!
It is so hard when someone we know has a great heart and like you said, is a "generous and giving person" and yet complains. I've run into a few of these at different church I've been a part of and it's so tough. I've even fallen into it myself from time to time. If you are the world's worst at confrontation, then we are twins separated at birth! Ha!
But one thing I have found that has helped me with complainers is to throw in "high points" through out my conversations with them. Even if it's kind of random, I try to work in things like, "Oh, I just have to tell someone about the awesome things Anita is doing with the teenagers right now. You wouldn't believe how servant-hearted that woman is. She really makes me stop and think about my own life. I'm so thankful God's using her to bless our church." or "You know, the last kids' event we had was kind of tough, but I was really encouraged to see how Michelle and David just really threw themselves right into it and just loved those kids. What a huge blessing to have them here to reach out to the kids who need it most."
It can totally be cheesy and sometimes after I've said something like that, I think, "Good grief, did that ever sound dumb!" But I have almost always seen people stop. And it opens a door for God to speak to them without me having to say to them, "Your complaining makes me want to puke. Can you please stop?".
I wholeheartedly agree that there needs to be times of confrontation and holding a bro or sis in Christ accountable for unChristlike actions in their life. Hopefully these positive "high points" will do the trick first and save us from having to say too much more.
And often times people who complain are very discouraged themselves and can't see the good because they've given and given so much. If we can show them that God IS working, it can be the very thing that their heart needed to see and it ends up opening their eyes.
God bless you!! I'll be praying for you!
Post a Comment