It's not about giving other things, even things that might be/seem hard to give. Thousands of cattle and oil rivers, in the end, don't really affect my soul. Even the hyperbole of sacrificing a child doesn't get to the heart of the matter. It's the death every day in my soul that God requires/desires. Most things fit into these categories. We please God when we kill the desire for revenge (love mercy) or kill thoughts about someone we're not married to (act justly). God requires us to be changed by the practice of spending extra time on our taxes and investments to make sure everything is above reproach (act justly). He requires that we listen to people and wait to speak even though we think we've got it figured out (love mercy). When those things that call to my sinful rise up inside of me, whatever it is, I must choose to act justly and love mercy. It cost me by causing pain to my infantile, bent and powerfully deceptive sin nature. When I comfort that pain by not acting justly or loving mercy, I choose my comfort over God and that is sin - not humbly walking with Him. It comes down to sacrificing the comfort of my soul for what God wants from us - not church attendance, tithes, service in ministry, or songs and prayers. It's a daily sacrificing, walking in the way of choosing God's way instead of mine in each circumstance, no matter what. And that gives me a fairly good definition of humility to work with. It all ties back in together. Acting justly and loving mercy and walking humbly.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Blogging while writing for real
Just wanted to say thanks to those who keep asking about my blog. It's been hard to remember to blog because I've been doing some "real writing". Hopefully I'll be able to share more later, but suffice it to say that I'm writing a bit of fiction that had been playing around in my head for the past year or so. It's been very cool to be creative in this way. But I do want to continue blogging and sometimes I get discouraged because I'm not doing both at the same time. I'm going to try and be more faithful, but it's something I'll just need grace from myself and from others.
On a side note, I've been thinking a lot about prayer and what it means to pray and why we should pray and if it actually does any good. God's been taking me through some cool passages in the Bible in answer to some of my questions and it's just been really exciting. Even if God doesn't save my family members or kids in youth, like I've asked, He's definitely is leading me through what His word says about praying. I know I'll never totally understand, but from just the little I've gotten so far, I know that He's not left me to figure things out on my own. I won't be writing any dissertations on the theology of prayer, but I am in a better place with God then I was and I think that's cool.
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